Has the sun set on your relationship? Not only is it heartbreaking but also feels like the world has broken into smithereens! It is emotionally and physically draining as we obsess over those happy moments that make us feel worse. Even if you want to heal, there seems to be no easy way out of heartbreak; especially if it is from a long-term relationship.
Pooja Khera, an internationally certified relationship and dating coach says there is no quick-fix to make this roller-coaster ride easy. But she recommends 10 inspiring ways to navigate a break-up. They’re collated from her experience as a happiness and relationship coach and from her own interludes. She says,
These powerful steps, if dedicatedly followed, will go a long way in helping you to heal and emerge from this a stronger and wiser person.
Scroll down to check out the 10 ways recommended by Pooja.
1. Remind Yourself ‘This Too Shall Pass’
This timeless Persian adage reflects on the temporary nature of life’s situations. When applying this to a breakup illustrates the fact that as hard it may be, it is time to move on, getting your life back in order. Future is never stagnant and life is ever-evolving. The worst has happened and you will only get wiser from here on.
2. Stop Playing The Blame Game
Opposites attract—it is that uniqueness that brings many together to form a relationship. However, a fallout can bring about the ‘bicker and blame’ game as we pick on those very aspects we once loved. While this could be normal the blame game needs to stop. This is the only way you can heal and move on.
3. Take Your Time To Heal
Give yourself time to grieve. It is not easy when your equilibrium is broken. It is normal to feel the pain and it is important to shed tears. Avoid putting a schedule or a deadline for your grieving. That would be a huge mistake and make things even tougher to compare someone else’s way of handling grief to your own.
4. Change Your Routine
After a breakup, many set off to get a new hairstyle, change their wardrobe or even move cities. It symbolises the start of a new life. While all this is fine, what is important is a change in your routine which is different from the one which you followed with your partner. As humans, we are used to conditioning. When you change your routine and bring in a new structure, you being to recondition to help the process of healing. This process of unlearning and learning a new route will bring a new structure in your life and slowly break unwanted associations.
5. Find A New Passion
Treat the break up as a clean slate. It is not easy but a new activity will stir excitement which you will need. Get into the new fitness regime; learn music which you always wanted, play the football game, anything that will bring a new passion in that purpose.
6. Don’t Stalk The Ex
As tempting as it may be to find out what your ex is doing, stalking them on social media will only drag you further down the rabbit hole. I know it is hard to disconnect but it is necessary. Increase the distance and begin your break-up recovery right away.
7. Spend Time With Those Who Love You
In these times of heartbreak, nothing is more comforting than a loving hand, sympathetic friend or agony aunt. Post-break-up, reconnect with those who love you. A heart-to-heart chat over a hot chocolate or a pleasant evening with them will make you feel a lot better and stronger to survive the breakup. Just don’t overload your loved ones emotionally!
8. Say No To Casual Sex And Random Dating
As tempting as it sounds, but nothing can be worse than having causal sex or dating randomly to fill the void. You will only add one more layer to your misery as the casual partners fail to connect emotionally, thus dragging you down further.
9. Learn From The Break-Up
Every relationship teaches us something. Instead of blaming yourself, taking time to reflect and learn from the past relationship will not only help the healing process but will contribute to your growth.
10. Kill The Expectation Of Closure From Your Ex
Every hurtful partner longs to know the reason for the heartbreak. Thus begins an endless cycle of ‘why’, ‘when’, ‘what’ and it helps no one. Remember, both of you are hurt and neither of you is ready to listen and accept the bitter truth, even if you know it. Accept the fallout with grace and move on.
Lastly, Pooja says,
Remember that there is no easy way to navigate the aftermath of a heartbreak but begin with loving yourself and step out with fortitude. Step into your power! Here’s to moving on and transforming alchemically!
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